This post is a continuation of my Wedding Day Countdown – 10 things I want you to know before your wedding day. ( Original Post – http://wp.me/p2Uy1y-wv )
Seven days and counting! Today, I want to talk about in-laws.
Treat your in-laws the way you want to be treated. Try and remember that major things are changing in their lives too. Mother’s that once held their children in their arms, now have to let go as you hold on to one another. Do your best to make that transition easy for them. They don’t want to take over control, they just may not know how to do so gracefully.
Despite all the mother-in-law jokes, these women can share with you a unique perspective about their child. They’ve known their sons and daughters for a very long time and can share their insight with you. When friction may arise, remember that complaining about them is not going to change things. Again, these conversations are never easy, but take the time and stick with it – don’t let things fester. Be open, and honest about what you are feeling and share those thoughts.
Father-in-laws can become your biggest fans. They are a daughter’s first hero and a son’s biggest mentor. Their life’s work was devoted to providing and protecting their children, they want to know that you respect their hard work. They, too, have a keen eye into the heart and mind of their son/daughter. Engage them in conversation. Treat them as you want to be treated someday when you are in the same position.
Next, there will be days that your spouse’s brothers and sisters may drive you nuts. Love them anyway. This can be one of the hardest transitions in a family. That “unit” that spent so many years together – laughing, playing, sharing secrets, telling stories – will now be changing. This is a time to embrace one another as new siblings not as intruders. It’s all in the mindset that you create from the beginning.
To my future son-in-law, I pray that our family becomes your family and that we grow in love and trust with one another; that you accept one another as sisters and brothers. I pray that you forgive and defend one another, always and that you share a future of laughter and adventure with one another as we build a new family. I pray that God prepares your heart to love us as we love you. I pray we become family that you can count on. As we let go of our daughter, I pray your union with her grows stronger and God prepares our heart to see the joy between you. I pray you know how very much you are loved.
“Family isn’t defined only by last names or by blood; it’s defined by commitment and by love. It means showing up when they need it most. It means having each other’s backs. It means choosing to love each other even on those days when you struggle to like each other. It means never giving up on each other!” ~Dave Willis~