Gardeners Touch

Getting to the ROOT of Change

Day 6 of 10 Things To Tell Your Children Before Their Wedding Day

This post is a continuation of my Wedding Day Countdown – 10 things I want you to know before your wedding day.  ( Original Post )

You must always choose your spouse over your parents. Those words can be most difficult to say when you are on the other end of that scenario. What I mean here is that each of you must give your very best to one another first. Your marriage – your relationship –  is your first priority.  For example, share exciting news with one another first. When apart from each other all day, keep that “coming home” time for one another.  Turn off the phone, and the world, and be present to one another.  Reconnect and share your hearts.  Be a good listener and encourage one another.  Protect each other’s hearts  – the world isn’t always kind.

You are both joining another family now and that comes with some expectations that should be respected.  That doesn’t mean that you cannot say no and in the beginning this will be a subject that brings a heavy heart.  You cannot be everything to everyone.  Honoring one’s parents (Exodus 20:12) and in-laws doesn’t mean saying yes to everything.  A good rule of thumb is to talk about things before they happen and why they’re important to you.  Is this a tradition that you want to treasure and share with your spouse or are you doing it out of obligation or guilt? Help each other understand why those connections with your family are important.  Share your memories – good and bad.  Embrace those things that were important to you and incorporate them into your lives.  Leave the others behind.

When dealing with your in-laws, remember to always be considerate.  Ask yourself if how you are about to respond honors them.

Ephesians 4:29 says “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen”.

We will always be here for you if you should need us. Remember when you went off to school, then college?  Little by little we gave you more freedom to make your own decisions.  Some of those decisions worked and some did not, but they all taught you a lesson and made you stronger.  That strength will build and it will carry you through some of the harder times in your life.  It is always best to talk through a situation with one another first, then if you need input from either of your in-laws, seek their advice, listen, then reconnect with one another and make those decisions for yourself.  Our positions will shift now and you will need to depend on one another.

Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

Leave and Cleave – this refers to God’s invention of a unique bond between husband and wife that’s not to be compromised by their relationship with their parents.

You are both smart.  You are both strong. You are both fully equipped to handle life with one another.

Gracious God, you have entrusted me with the life of this child and I am most thankful for this blessing.  I hope you can say well done good and faithful servant.  She is now leaving her life with me and starting a new journey with the man that she loves.  Thank you for the gift you have blessed her with.  Continue to surround her with good people who will bless her life.  Let her know that I will always be near when there is a need. Bless our efforts as we learn to navigate this new relationship with one another.  In those moments of sadness, Lord, when I miss her, let me find comfort in knowing that she is Your child first and that you have provided her with a shelter of love and protection.  Amen.

“Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you.” ~unknown~

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