The weight of our words are so very powerful, not simply in how we use them but also the effect they can have on others. Despite the old rhyme about sticks and stones, names can hurt us, no matter what our age and they can find a home deep down in our soul. Those words have a way of creeping up again when we’re not feeling very confident and can sabotage our best of plans.
After my last pregnancy, my hormones wreaked havoc on my body. A yearly doctor’s visit became multi-year visits with a team of specialists. I tried many weight loss programs, fitness centers, and supplements – some worked – some didn’t. I lost some, I gained some. My body ached and I always seemed to be in a state of constant brain fog.
Despite my efforts to remove all processed foods from the house, cook healthier, and exercise, with each new birthday, came a few more pounds and a reminder of those ugly words that found a place in my heart. To add to my frustration, none of my doctors communicated with one another, looking at all the areas of my life, and the recommendations they came up with simply put a band-aid on the situation or should I say another pill in my pocket. One doctor even told me that my metabolism was shot and that I should learn to simply adjust to this being my new normal. WHAT?
The funny thing is you learn to bury it until something triggers those insecurities and somewhere deep down is that little girl, or vulnerable teen hearing those ugly words again, reminding you that you just didn’t have what it took to succeed in this area of your life.
During a recent drive, on a beautiful day, I had the windows down and the music playing – this song below, by Selah, came on the radio and God spoke to my heart – “when will you give this to me”?. When I looked the song up later, on YouTube, this was the story I heard.
I realized that I just couldn’t handle any more yo-yo dieting. I knew my strength was gone and in that moment, I asked God for help. In the weeks to follow, there was a lot of retrospective thinking about tragic circumstances in our life, emotional changes in our family, and yes the pain I carried in those unkind words. This journey has been a lifetime and it wasn’t over yet. My years have served me well.
I suppose with age comes a little wisdom as well. I’ve learned that you love in the moment because the people who matter are gone before you know it. I know that you have to stop looking at the circumstances and the people who create the hurt in your life as obstacles to your happiness and create the life you love with the people you love (and that love you). I know that as we get older, we have fewer friends, but they are the ones who are always there. And, I know that sharing our struggles is sometimes a doorway to hope for someone else. I know it was for me.
The very things that are broken within us, God can take and put back together even stronger than before. He placed the right people in my life at the right time and gently held my hand as I navigated this road one more time……..but this time, with Him. I found the strength within me to be strong enough to try again and put an end to this vicious cycle. I found a company that started with addressing the weight but placed far more importance on getting the junk out of my head, working on changing habits of body, mind, and spirit. The habits were the key to seeing all areas of my life and how they work together.
Yes, the weight of our words are powerful and those words can stand in the way of living the life you dream of. That was certainly the case for me. There was a time (not too long ago) when achieving what I had to lose seemed hopeless, but with each small success, the weight of those words was lifted and in their place became words to empower me to live a life of hope and health with those I love the most.