This week I’ve combined my Media Monday with a meditation that was on my heart. Steven Curtis Chapmin’s GLORIOUS UNFOLDING just found its way to me after I wrote down these thoughts. I pray its message speaks to you as it did for me.

God's plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of His unfailing Love
And the story has only begun

Often, when I’m on my morning walk, I pay close attention to what I’m seeing. I guess I notice because that’s how God seems to speak to me.

This morning I saw fog. Kinda how I’ve been feeling lately – a little foggy. We had a pretty decent rain last night so there was plenty of moisture left in the cool, morning air.

I noticed how still and quiet the rain makes everything in its aftermath. Lately, my walks have held a much greater purpose – they’ve had more of a prayer intention around them. As I paid attention to my own thoughts – which seem to consume me these days, I decided to make those thoughts my intentions. A time to talk to God and seek so e answers.

After speaking out loud my worries and frustrations God called my attention to the tree in front of me. I saw the top so empty and bare contrasted with the beautiful bright colors at the bottom. Then I saw the street sign announcing DEAD END. How apropos; that pretty much summed up how I was feeling.

I was worried about some testing I was having in the morning. I’ve really been struggling with the changes in my body. I don’t like the weight gain or hair loss, or the numbness and tingling or fatigue. WHY ARE THEY BACK????

This tree showed perfectly the stages of transition. It’s bottom still holding the green of summer, while simultaneously showing off its blanket of red, only to be reminded that this was the last hurrah before it’s stripped bare.

I’m eating well, exercising, taking my vitamins….what am I missing? I’ve seen 4 specialists in the past 6 months. All different diagnoses. All different treatments. All referring me to someone else. More blood draws. More exams. More poking, prodding and pain!

“Lord, why can’t the doctors find the root of the problem”? Then this verse from Mark 5 came to me:

“She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse.
She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. She said, “If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured.”

Why was I thinking about this? What did it mean?

In some translations, cloak is referred to as tassel or tzitzit for the Jewish people. The tzitzit has significant meaning in Mosaic law. It was a physical reminder to the Israelites of who they were, who God was, and their obedience in response. God’s people were to be set apart.

“Speak to the children of Israel and say to them: They shall make for themselves fringes on the corners of their garments… And this shall be tzitzit for you, and when you see it, you will remember all the commandments of God, and perform them.” Num 15:38

Tassels were part of the hem of a garment, and symbolized the wearer’s authority. God required them to depend on Him; not to live their lives by their own intelligence and understanding. God wanted the Israelites to obey and trust Him, and to have faith in Him. God wanted to be close to them, and their lives connected to Him.

“If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured.”

WHO AM I and WHAT DO I BELIEVE?

Am I trusting in the authority of Jesus, the true healer?

Placing this season in his hands?

Do I have the trust and obedience of the hemorrhaging woman?

As I continued to walk, my eyes were drawn to the beauty of the rain drops on a single leaf. I heard “The raindrops are remnants of the storm. Only Christ can dry it up.”

This has been a stormy season at best. Lots of uncertainty. Lots of upheaval. It’s been hard to trust and let go in fear that another storm is around the corner. The rain drops are a remnant of the storm. I hold onto them – bury them; frustrated with the season. Not seeing the beauty and lessons they bring.

I imagine how the bleeding woman felt. Depleted. Unworthy. An outsider, not like the others. Her self-image measured in human terms.

UNTIL…..she saw the tassels and was reminded. Reminded that she was set apart. Reminded of the Authority before her. Reminder of her call to obedience. I admire her boldness; what it took for her to step out in faith and trust. Her act was a silent cry for Jesus to grant her his personal attention and healing power.

“Look up. What do you see”?

On this perfect autumn morning, I saw God’s creation in all its glory. Different trees in different stages – all with their own beauty.

“I created them all. Which one is more beautiful”?

Comparison. God was asking me to see His beauty and all I could do was compare. This! This is what I do with my own self image.

How we present ourselves and think in our daily lives reflects a heart, mind, and soul that is committed to God. Yes – I have some work to do.

If I but touch His cloak…..