Remember when you were a child and time was of no importance because there was always tomorrow? Tomorrow looks different, now that I’m here. Tomorrow’s aren’t promised and they’re not to be taken for granted. These past few years have seen a great deal of loss. Some we were prepared for, others grabbed us by surprise. Each was a gift…………and a lesson.
Today was difficult. I had lots of thoughts. Some were regrets, others pure gratitude. Each hurt, either way. Now that I’m at the age where looking back holds as much distance as what we perceive looking forward holds, days and people and moments are guarded. None of it is taken for granted. Each one gets tucked in this moment and time.
Words and temperments take on new meaning from our youth. The need to fight for everything seems so much less important and sad news is greeted with a little more acceptance because you know, there is a bigger picture. One that lies beyond our control.
I love the line in the below poem “And you learn to build all your roads on today”.
No moment is too small to be fully alive in it. You recognize this strength that showed up when you weren’t looking and realize the lessons learned from sitting in the school of mistakes.
God uses it all; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
This journey we’re on is a deep dive through the classroom of life where only He can satisfy.
“After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,*
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth…
And you learn and learn…
With every good-bye you learn.”
for Gorges Luis Borges