Here I sit staring through the darkness at the tiny little frame of my granddaughter, who is sick……….again. Nothing comforts her but the warmth and safety of my arms. The neat and orderly plans I have for the day are disrupted. I was working on another “Front Porch Friday” piece that I needed to finish, but I realize that MY plans are apparently not HIS. I shift my body to get comfortable – I don’t know how long I’ll be sitting here. As I stare at her helplessness, all of my plans disappear – she needs me…and I am here. My mind wanders and I hear God’s gentle whisper, “…and I’m here holding you too, because I know you need me”. Advent is a few short weeks away and I ponder how I will journey with Mary and Joseph and welcome Emmanuel into my heart. This little one is teaching me that God is with me in the present moment.
I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along this journey of life, I learned to dismiss the present and jump to the future. Having a plan and controlling it brings me safety, I suppose. And, when those plans don’t pan out, there’s always plans B-Z. “I’ve got this”! That adaptability was an attribute while raising four kids in a busy household, but now I find God changing the course of my journey and teaching me something new. I was never meant to do this alone, in my own power, yet somewhere along the way, I missed that message. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared. Stepping into the unknown isn’t comfortable for me. It makes me squirm like the little one in my arms. The pain inside is too easily felt when you sit still.
- What will it look like to receive?
- Where will I invite God into my plans? Into my fears?
So, here’s my first step in obedience to finding where God is with me in the present moment. I can quit worrying about my post not being long enough or perfectly written, that the wash won’t get done today, or that dinner might look like breakfast. He will find a way. Right now, in the quiet moments of rest for this little one, I too can silence my thoughts and rest in His arms and trust that this very moment is exactly where He needs me to be, experiencing unconditional love and safety.
“Jesus, I trust in You”. So easy to say, but very hard to actually do.
Hi Kim, It does seem hard at times, but I’ve found that persistence in repeating those truths makes it easier over time. Praying God blesses you to grow in a deeper trust with Him.